I saw something dumb. It was not just dumb, though.

No, it was very dumb. Very, very dumb. Incredibly dumb. Unbelievably dumb.

I told him he was “un-inspiringly dumb,” and was instantly proud of myself.

I think this phrase summons to mind a previously-imagined plateau of dumb, only to have a new man – undaunted by the limits of dumb, divinely commanded to go where no dumb had been before – dive off the deep end of this once-plateau, into the dark abyss that is the continental shelf of dumb.

As he sinks into the dark mirky mire, one is left only to stare and wonder… “How dumb can he be?”

I might actually get some more content up here eventually. We’ll see if I get anything useful, and this is generally full of empty promises, so grain of salt here.

Still, maybe I’ll start putting some more creative stuff up on here, or I’ll do political commentary, or whatever. If you – yes, you, random stranger! – have a preference for a certain kind of content, please leave a comment. It would be cool to see what sorts of things people would like to see here – funny stories, photography, normal day-in-the-life blog posts, etc.

Let me know!

You have embarked upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many generations. The eyes of the world have been upon you. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere marched with you. In company with our brave Allies and brothers-in-arms on other Fronts, you have brought about the destruction of dangerous war machines, the elimination of tyranny over the oppressed peoples of the Earth, and security for ourselves in a free world.

Your task has not been an easy one. Your enemy was well trained, well equipped and battle hardened. He has fought savagely.

But this is the year 2009! Much as happened since the triumph of 1776-83. The United Nations have inflicted upon warlords great defeats, in open battle, man-to-man. Our soldiers have seriously reduced their strength in the air and their capacity to wage war on the ground. Our Home Fronts have given us an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions at war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of fighting men. You have turned the tide! The free men of the world are marching together to Victory!

I have full confidence in your courage and devotion to duty and skill in battle. You have accepted nothing less than full victory!

Thank you! And let us beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon your great and noble undertakings.

Today is the one day – out of the the whole year – that we dedicate to you, that we honor your sacrifices.

You should know that the other three hundred sixty four days are spent enjoying what you have purchased for us.

Thank you.

This.

The eyes of the world are upon you.